Tips for dating success

Begin with pursuing God (Matthew -34) and become the healthiest person you can become. Get your relationship needs met outside the dating context. Learn your patterns (old relationship patterns from your original family, seeking completion for something you lack in yourself, idealistic wishes for yourself, inability to set boundaries, fear of closeness or intimacy) and work on them so you do not repeat them. Date according to a few nonnegotiable values (faith, honesty, sexual purity, etc.). Be open to going out with people who you would normally not have on your list. Be who you are and give the other person the freedom to do the same. Don't put up with bad behavior, and set good boundaries.

Avoid vileness, faithlessness, perversity, slander, evil, pride, deceit, and lying.

Just like meeting a stranger in real life, you have to stay safe when you’re online.

Before giving away information such as job titles or personal details, think first about how those could be used to track you online.

Be careful of getting dazzled by someone and in awe of them as it may make you blind to the reality plus it puts undue pressure on them creating expectations that they cannot live up to. Don’t spend from here to eternity trying to recreate that ‘persona’ that they exhibited as some people are very good at putting on a performance at the start but quickly fade into the ‘real’ them. If someone is saying that they want to get to know you by getting your knickers down, they’re not trying to get to know you.

This is the big one, because depressing though it may be, your smiling face is the first thing on which people will judge you.

Relationship psychologist Honey Langcaster-James says: “Look straight into the camera and smile showing your teeth – this says open, friendly, healthy and confidence.” A recent study of the most popular profiles on dating sites showed 88 per cent are making eye contact with the camera in their profile picture.

Jim Talbott, director of consumer insights at Match.com, also suggests: “Keep your photos fresh, and swap out your primary photo frequently.

You look like a new user and people who might have missed you before are more likely to give you a second look.” A final thought from Honey: “Don't be tempted to airbrush your picture or present yourself looking too much better than you do in real life, and give group photos a miss to avoid confusion.” It might feel a little awkward, but dating expert Peter Spalton says it’s a great idea to ask a friend to cast a fresh eye over what you’ve written – and not just to check your spelling.

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